Good one

With my horribly poor internet connection, it's hard to imagine that I actually spent internet time on a forward, but I'm glad I did! Enjoy, ladies!!

Mammograms
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the
door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first
time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and
chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Happy Birthday Matthew!

Matthew turns 8 today. He had a couple friends over Friday night, which was a first for him. They camped out in the living room and I think they had a really good time. We're having his family party today. He wanted a Monster Truck cake and bought the Truck with his birthday money, along with some cars to trash like the Truck had run over them. I got it done last night but forgot to take pictures, so I'll get those taken and posted later! This is also the birthday of a friend of ours, and they had their party yesterday. They celebrated the birthdays of both their little girls, so I made them Barbie cakes. It was all very cute! Only planned to stay a couple hours because I needed to get home and get ready for the party today, but it didn't work. This family is such a neat one. Six kids, working on their fourth grandbaby, and Mom is working with me as a teacher and mentor in homeschooling. She homeschooled all six, and is graduating her twin boys this May. My kids really look up to them, too. It's really nice to be impressed by the people who impress your kids. I really hope that lasts! They are all so talented and fun to be around.
Today is also our cousin's first birthday. Happy birthday Alyssa!! We hope we get to meet you soon!
Well, I have to get moving if I want this place ready before we leave for church! Happy birthday all!!

Reader Poll

Strange thing...

Last night, Michael put the boys to bed and then grabbed a couple Oreos. Mallory asked if she could have some with a glass of milk. He hands her Matthew's glass of milk that he didn't finish from supper. She dunks her cookies and puts the milk in the fridge. This morning, Matthew has to finish his milk. ??? So I'm wondering why it's Matthew that has to drink this gooked up milk when he didn't even get the treat. Michael somehow pulls me into this. ??? So I support D-A-D like I'm supposed to, all the time wondering why Mallory didn't drink it after these oh-so-sacred Oreos. I repeat the scenario back to him to make sure I have it right, of course emphasizing the GOOKED UP MILK. No good. He still thinks Matthew should drink it. Then he gets in the shower. Matthew and I are left to sort this out. Well, no, not really. We're left to respect and obey. And for those who know my Matthew: you can imagine how the next few moments go. However, as I relay my thoughts to Matthew, he takes it surprisingly well. Then he says, "But I'm going to play a joke on him. I'm going to put the empty glass back in the fridge." Go for it, Hoss. Respect and obedience. Matthew gets huge points today. I think Michael knows I'm still standing on the inside, but hey, at least we all got through!!